Prize Wrap Up

freakinheather - you win the final DVD, plus, I was totally charmed by the canteloupe story, so holler your t-shirt size or whether you'd prefer a night shirt! (e-mail address in the comments, if you'd be so kind).

So, kids, it was fun, it was real, and make sure y'all invest heavily in birth control and in each other.

A. and the dudette also say thanks for playing and take care!

Until next time, or the next unexpected kid, this is slacker_ben signing off!

Well Kids, It's Been Real!

First of all, congrats to the following winners:


Y'all Asked Ben, and Ben wants to do something for you!! Post your e-mail address in the comments, and tell us large or XL and we'll send you a t-shirt! Thanks for playin'!

It's been fun, y'all, and because they said I could, we've got one final DVD to give away to the best answer to the following question (inspired by tallichair:

What's your all time favorite pick-up line?

Bonus points and a nightshirt for anyone who's ever successfully used or succumbed to a pickup line!

Other than that, thanks for playing, and make sure you Check us out on DVD!!

This is it, folks!

wendywoowho, you won the DVD! C'mon down to claim your prize!

For the rest of you, to wrap things up, everyone who saw the movie knows that birth may be a miracle, but it sure ain't pretty. (And this kids, is how we learn the difference between pretty and beautiful).

So, tell us your best birth or pregnancy story - it can be your own story, your mom's, your sister's, your best friend's. Remind us a little bit of life as a miracle, and not just ooey, gooey, screaming, crazy, OMG you're going to push what out of where!?!?!

Crazy cravings, poppin' the kid out in a taxi, any old Hollywood staple as welcome as the new and improved variety of the wonders of reproduction.

Ask Ben and Ben'll Answer, Round IV

mrmunkeepants writes:

so the GF and I are getting married next summer, but it's going to be a non-traditional wedding - like, really non-traditional. outside, God mentioned zero times... my parents are fairly conservative, how can I tell them about this without them thinking we're crazy pagans (because we aren't really _that_ crazy) and freaking out about our Godless union? if they're too uncomfortable, should I disinvite them?

Munkee, give your folks some credit to start. They love you, they'll love your honey, and yes, they may absolutely HATE your wedding plans. But invite them anyway, and make them feel welcome. This doesn't mean changing what you want (a few concessions here and there go a long way towards maintaining familial harmony - but those concessions can be color schemes, rehearsal dinners, who gets to make a sappy speech, etc. They don't have to be the actualy ceremony).

However, keep in mind that they're under no obligation to pay for any of this. And that they'll continue to voice their opinions. Stick to your guns, don't lose your mind, help HER to not lose her mind, and at the end? One way or another, it's the marriage that counts, not the wedding.

bluedaffodil writes:
Ben: We all have habits that we are not proud of and don't want to pass on to the next generation. So now that you are a parent, do you shape up and behave yourself, or do you abide by the "do as I say, not as I do" principle?

Well Blue, A. and I are still identifying a lot of those bad habits - like eating straight from the refrigerator, and not wearing pants, so I think it's a learning curve. Stuff that's way dangerous? You gotta stop? Other things, well, you've gotta think about the dudette, and the fact that she wants to do EVERYTHING that we do. And I look at her and think, DUDE, I do not want you to do that. I'd better stop!

It's a compromise, I think. I don't think we're gonna be able to stop swearing, but we'll teach her when it's appropriate, and when it's just gonna freak out grandma.

yeewuz writes:
Ben, when you and your partner decide that you want a baby, it's a very exciting thing. But at the same time, it's also extremely nervewracking and scary. How do you get over the uncertainty of being a new parent?

Yee, I don't think you every get over the scary! You're responsible for this whole new life. But eventually, the hilarious, and the gross, and the amazing balance out the freaky and you sort of start to trust yourself and trust each other, and the dudette or little dude starts growing and talking and you sort of stop being ruled by the scary and embrace it.


Give it up for a4yroldfaerie (gettin' the DVD!) and hey__itsrachel (rockin' the outerwear - make sure to tell us the size of t-shirt or if you want the nightshirt).

All the date stories were great, but faerie managed to juggle three guys and still get a kiss at the end of the night, while Rachel switched teams. (Send me your e-mail addresses though. Comments screened, per usual.)

So, you've gotten serious, maybe even reproduced, you're sort of figurin' the whole other person thing out, but there's this whole other issue in the air. Family. Yours. Hers. Everyones. They've got OPINIONS, they've got likes and dislikes, they've got crazy food allergies and hate your dog and your Uncle Joe, and just... they're complicated.

So, how do you deal with your in-laws? How do you navigate the whole holiday/babysitting/visiting/weird attachment to people that you don't know but are part of your life thing.

Poll #1063316 In Love, But In LAWS!

Best Way of Playing Nice With the In-Laws

Ignore 'em. They'll go away in 20 to 30 years.
Embrace 'em! Dude, have you met my family?
Flip a coin. Heads you love 'em, tails you hate 'em.
Get to know their weird hobbies. Expose them to your weird hobbies. It's all about sharing.

Feel free to share your horror stories of in-laws (and they don't have to be literal lawfully bound for you free love folks), but also share your success stories. Tell me about the family members of your main squeeze that you're crazy about!

All's Well That Ends Well

Hey folks, we're tacking on an extra day, so you've got me until the official end of September! Cool no?

Anyone checked out the DVD extras yet? I'd love to know what you liked best.

Plus, we've got some cool new prizes to finish our run with - some excellent t-shirts and nightshirts along with the DVD.

So, to celebrate, no poll today, but a question:

What was your worst date that ended well? (And no, you cannot use the puking story again!!!) It can be a date that sounded great on paper, sucked in practice. Or a serious of misadventures, or that time you took out Gina Furlani and ended up makin' out with her sister...

Givin' away a DVD and a t-shirt for my two favorite stories, so get crackin!!

Ask Ben and Ben'll Answer, Round 3

Whoa! Y'all are askin' the tough questions this week!! I'll do my best to answer 'em. But remember kids, I'm not a professional. Definitely don't try this at home!!

tallichair asked: What's your favortie pick-up line?
Dude, do I look like I know any good pick up lines? Probably, "Wow, your ass looks fantastic in those pants." or it's cheesier brother, "Are those astronaut pants? Because your ass is out of this world!!!"

allura asked:
What would be the best way to tell your family to stop harassing you about having kids, especially when you have infertility issues that they *KNOW* about?

Having kids is a totally personal decision, one between you and your chosen partner. Your family is probably really excited at the idea of tiny little versions of y'all running around, but their enthusiasm is obviously rubbing at an open wound.

The best way to deal with this is to politely explain how they're making you feel (and if that don't work, tell them that they'll only get 10-15 years with good behavior if they borrow kids at the mall. In the meantime, barring jail, they might want to just be patient and supportive and invest in some high quality lube and airfare for you and your honey.)


If a woman gets pregnant and decides that keeping it is just not the right thing for her. Does she need to tell the father about it, or just pretend it never happened? And, if she does tell the father about it should he really get a say in whether or not she goes for the big A?

Karma, see the first line above. Kids - having them or not- is a deeply personal, individual issue. And making that kind of decision alone - to keep or not, to tell or not - has to suck beyond the telling of it.

Do you have an obligation to tell the father? That's also personal. Kid's got his DNA, but it's your body, your genes too. If you think he'll be able to support you in your decision, weigh in with reasonable advice, then maybe tell him. If you feel like he's got a right to know (and he probably feels like he does), tell him. But each person has to decide what they think is right in any given situation. No one can make that decision - any aspect of that decision - for you.

For any of you cats facing that sort of decision, be sure to check out some of your options, including counseling - your local free clinic should be able to steer you in the right direction if you don't have a GP or a OB/GYN you're comfortable with.

And on that note, I'm up for another round of "Ask Ben" if y'all have more questions! My favorite question will win someone a snazzy Knocked Up t-shirt or nightshirt!

Gettin' Serious

All y'all with your movie dates were pretty darn fantastic. But I gotta hand it to heartshpdbox for stickin' with her man even after he puked at her feet. C'mon down and claim your prize, my fabulous pukee!!! We're a family that appreciates gross!

All right, inspired by my girls, I want to ask y'all a question.

How do you know it's time to move from "dating" to "serious"?

Poll #1062564 Movin' On Up

You Know Things Are Getting Serious When

All your stuff seems to have migrated to one central residence
You finish each others sentences
You have a baby mama
It's been six months and you don't want to break up
It's been more than a few dates and she still thinks you're cute
It's been more than a few dates and you actually remember what she tells you
You go away for the weekend and don't murder each other
You remember her mom's name

But really folks, how do you know when it's time to get serious? How do you know the difference between moving forward and needing to just cut the cord? What kind of signs - aside from open conversation because dude, that is way too easy - tell you that you should take that next step?

Date Night Means a Late Night (or an early night sometimes)

salsaonthebeach and kiwibttrflyty, C'mon Down! You're the next contestants on... oh wait, sorry. You're already winners! Thanks for playing urban legend, and holler out with your e-mail addresses so we can get you some prizes! (comments screened of course).

So, cats and kittens, money's tight, but daddy needs some lovin'. Okay, daddy just needs a night on the couch with a pretty potential significant other, and Blockbuster's havin' a sale (or rather, since they installed their new policy, they just charge me painlessly for my late fees and still let me check out flix without embarrasing me in front of the ladies.

Seriously, the dudette hates it when daddy's credit cards get rejected).

Anyway, where was I?

Oh, no cash, lots of time, and someone kissable willing to stick around for the evening and see what transpires. This requires a killer flick. Suggestions?

Poll #1061828 Roll Credits

Best Date Movie

Jaws - who doesn't love killer sharks?
Dumb and Dumber - they're my heroes man, and she deserves to see where I come from
Star Wars - 'nuff said
Titanic - weepy, cold, and still a classic. Besides, I'm way taller than Leo, which helps
Once - romance done on the cheap
Casino Royale - If Daniel Craig doesn't get her hot, nothing will.
A romantic comedy. Any romantic comedy.
not seen a movie since the 90's dude?
Anything by Judd Apatow - it's the romance + body fluids that wins 'em everytime

Other sure fire date movies because your suggestions clearly suck:

Okay, real question time. What's the best movie date you've ever been on?

Myth, Myth!!! Yeth???

Yo, tofu_sandwich, pony up your e-mail address in the screened comments. You are a winna!!

Now that that's out of the way, drumroll please.... and thank you. The DVD drops today, so run out and buy it kids!! Learn about birth control! Learn about how NOT to start a family. Most of all, laugh your ass off at these two crazy kids who found love in spite of doin' it all wrong. The dudette says you'll love it!!

Want more proof? Go here!!

So, in honor of our faces soon to be plastered all over your TVs and computer screens, an extra special poll.

As y'all know, my buddies and I may have been... misinformed about some of the facts of life. (Yes, you can get pregnant if she's on top. No, they don't really think you're just putting your arm around them, they know it's a grope in progress. And no, the popcorn trick has never, ever worked. All you get is a buttery lap, and not in a good way!!)

I now know many, many things about sex and pregnancy - almost none of which I wanted to know, but might have been kinda useful 'bout a year ago. So, for all the candy and the universe (not really), and a chance at a fluffy dog (or a DVD or two - special day, two winners are possible), tell me your best lie, damned lie or statistic about love, sex and relationships. If it won't fit in the box, feel free to comment:

Poll #1061068 Fact vs. Legend

All time best "fact" about love, sex or parenting: